Will you fall into your online friend?

EV · High Priestess

Will you fall into your online friend?

Lord David · Goddess

Nowhere on the planet is out of reach, EV. If you want to meet this person badly enough, arrange it. Even if she lives on the other side of the world, you could go there. Never say never.

guitarplayer · Priestess

Lord David is right, EV. If your feelings for this girl continue and your life is seriously affected by it, you should check with her if she´d like to meet you and if yes, then just take your vacation, book a flight and go.

Even if she´s not in the same place as you are, meeting her will help you organize your feelings.

PoisonClan73 · High Priestess

I met my wife on-line. We've been together for 6 years.

EV · High Priestess

Lord David wrote:

Nowhere on the planet is out of reach, EV. If you want to meet this person badly enough, arrange it. Even if she lives on the other side of the world, you could go there. Never say never.

Thank you so much Lord David.I appreciate your words a lot.
I have never thought about meeting her at all because both of us merely enjoy the online relationship not real one at all.
It's true that we live on the extreme opposite direction of the world,but distance is really no problem.The problem is that neither of us wants to break the present relation at all.

Maybe it's best to keep in touch online.Dont you think so?

EV · High Priestess

guitarplayer wrote:

Lord David is right, EV. If your feelings for this girl continue and your life is seriously affected by it, you should check with her if she´d like to meet you and if yes, then just take your vacation, book a flight and go.
Even if she´s not in the same place as you are, meeting her will help you organize your feelings.

I do have strong feelings for her but that's only an online relationship until now I am not sure if I could regard it as a relationship or not. And I think my life is not so strongly affected as it sounded.I merely think of her when I meet some pretty and sexy blonde on the streets, in the restaurant or on the parties.That's it.

we always set the propositions that if we meet, we could do something together, however, she has never said that she wants to meet me at all.You know until now I am not quite sure about those pictures that she showed me.You know it's just an internet world.Everything could be veiled.

so let's see what will happen.

Thank you very much for your suggestions

EV · High Priestess

PoisonClan73 wrote:

I met my wife on-line. We've been together for 6 years.

You mean you got married or lived together?

Lord David · Goddess

At this point, EV, you have some hard thinking to do. You have to decide what it is you really want, and what you really feel. If you really love this person, or if you think you could love her if you met, then you owe it to yourself to explore that possibility.

After that, you need to talk to her. Find out how she feels, without pressuring her for answers. That will only scare her away. You say she agrees that if you do meet, she might want to sleep with you. That's a good sign, but you still need to get more information from her. If she's agreeable, you can arrange a meeting and see if there's any chemistry in person. Find out if you can get on when you're in the same room. Knowing someone online isn't the same as knowing them in person, and you might find she has some annoying habit or strange behaviour that puts you off. That's natural, and there's only one way to find out.

If nothing goes wrong at that point, you can start building the relationship and perhaps, if the stars are right, fall in love. I'll be rooting for you. No need to thank me, EV. I may be a man, but I still have feelings...

Best of British luck.

EV · High Priestess

Thanks again,lord david.Thank you for the long reply.Does my thread seem that serious? I mean I just wanted to share something that has happened to me recently,and actually it's not a big deal to me at all because I know exactly how an online relationship is going to end especially in my case, both of us are charming girls.So my point of view is that it's better to keep it the way it is right now and stay sort of long distance lover imtimacy than to make it real.

I never believe either the long-distance love or the internet love, and for me, on-line friends are just some strangers whom you can talk to with ease for they don't exist in your real life and they couldnt affect your life at all.That I meant she to some degree has affected my daily life is a little bit exaggerated, I suppose. Maybe I just find she is attractive to me, however, it is only comfined to the online life. Don't think I could do silly things like book the flight to go to meet her.I mean that sounds too stupid to me.

Alors, thanks very much for your words.

So if you were me, you are gonna try what you told me to?

Lord David · Goddess

Would I follow my own advice? Are you kidding me? I'd be over there in a cold second. I'm not exactly fending the ladies off with a pointy stick, you know.

At the end of the day it's your decision to make, EV, and I know well that people view online relationships in different ways. Personally, I find it incomprehensible that people can't seem to grasp that "online friends" are real people, with real feelings. Just because you haven't met them, doesn't mean they don't really exist or that they don't matter. To me, it's just a different communications medium, with its own strengths and weaknesses.

Regardless, if you don't want to go and meet this person, don't. If you're thinking of them outside of online conversations, it might be an indication that this person means more to you than you're admitting. That's for you to decide. I hope you won't dismiss the idea just because it seems stupid. We had a saying, back when I was a soldier. "If it's stupid, but it works, it's not stupid."

Think it over. If you need more advice, just whistle. I don't mind.

guitarplayer · Priestess

This is just off the top of my (seriously disturbed, you may say) head, and I don´t know if your living situation permits you to do so, but in Germany, phone calls to most places of the world have become extremely cheap.

If I were in your situation, I could imagine myself wanting to talk to her over the phone. It´d be no big deal moneywise, only a little more than a local call would cost.

Just a thought.

Have a nice night or day, wherever you are.

-- Edited by guitarplayer at 02:08, 2006-04-18

EV · High Priestess

guitarplayer wrote:

This is just off the top of my (seriously disturbed, you may say) head, and I don´t know if your living situation permits you to do so, but in Germany, phone calls to most places of the world have become extremely cheap.
If I were in your situation, I could imagine myself wanting to talk to her over the phone. It´d be no big deal moneywise, only a little more than a local call would cost.
Just a thought.
Have a nice night or day, wherever you are.-- Edited by guitarplayer at 02:08, 2006-04-18

Yeah,I know I could make phone calls with her and actually I have asked her if she wanted to give me her telephone number so that I could reach her and talk to her with ease, however, she never responded to it at all.So I think she doesnt want it that way.Never mind.Maybe it is just me who regards her as important as it seems to be and she thinks the other way around.Never mind.

PS,I think it's bloody expensive to make phone calls in France and I will run out of money if I make international ones.But it doesnt concern financial aspect at all, the most important thing is that she doesnt and wont tell me her number because it's the private thing..It's ok anyways.I just need to go with the flow.

Thanks for the off-topic recommendation.It sounds excellent but non-feasible though.

Good luck and have a nice day

EV · High Priestess

Lord David wrote:

Would I follow my own advice? Are you kidding me? I'd be over there in a cold second. I'm not exactly fending the ladies off with a pointy stick, you know.
At the end of the day it's your decision to make, EV, and I know well that people view online relationships in different ways. Personally, I find it incomprehensible that people can't seem to grasp that "online friends" are real people, with real feelings. Just because you haven't met them, doesn't mean they don't really exist or that they don't matter. To me, it's just a different communications medium, with its own strengths and weaknesses.
Regardless, if you don't want to go and meet this person, don't. If you're thinking of them outside of online conversations, it might be an indication that this person means more to you than you're admitting. That's for you to decide. I hope you won't dismiss the idea just because it seems stupid. We had a saying, back when I was a soldier. "If it's stupid, but it works, it's not stupid."
Think it over. If you need more advice, just whistle. I don't mind.

I have made the decision although it seems so silly.I have ended the relationship because I don't think it's practical for me and plus both of us keep busy these days so it's a good idea to terminalize it before something happens.

I don't like my way of ending it but I have no choice except this one.I just dont bear unpractical things in my life and I regard it stupid to have a go those things.Whatever..I will start something new and she will probably meet someone special to her.Both of our lives will continue the way they should be.

Do you think it's really a bad idea to end it?

Lord David · Goddess

If it's obvious that this person isn't interested in anything more than online chatting, then it's best for you to avoid getting in any deeper. If that means you have to walk away completely, then do it.

If, on the other hand, you do feel that you want more, then a phone conversation as Guitarplayer suggested would be the logical next step. If this person won't give you her number, then you know where you stand. If I was you I'd try talking to her about it once more to make certain.

I may not be understanding you fully, but it sounds to me like you're not entirely convinced that cutting this person out of your life completely is the best choice. If you're not sure that's what you want, then don't do it. When you're certain you know what you want, then you can worry about getting it.

Best of British luck, EV.

EV · High Priestess

Lord David wrote:

If it's obvious that this person isn't interested in anything more than online chatting, then it's best for you to avoid getting in any deeper. If that means you have to walk away completely, then do it.
If, on the other hand, you do feel that you want more, then a phone conversation as Guitarplayer suggested would be the logical next step. If this person won't give you her number, then you know where you stand. If I was you I'd try talking to her about it once more to make certain.
I may not be understanding you fully, but it sounds to me like you're not entirely convinced that cutting this person out of your life completely is the best choice. If you're not sure that's what you want, then don't do it. When you're certain you know what you want, then you can worry about getting it.
Best of British luck, EV.

To be honest,I have never asked her if we could have real relationships or not.All that we have done is sharing the opinions.Sometimes we talked some propositions that when we met, we could do this, or that.She mentioned certain times that there might be the chance that we share some vacations together and I am pretty sure that she meant that..

You know if she really wanted to talk to me personally, we could use like skype or MSNM to chat rather than write mails to each other..The problem is that she never said anything or require anything from me, and I just said once that she could give me her telephone number, when she was quite sick.

You are right thoroughly that I haven't completely been convinced by my decision, but what else can I do? I cannot let her control my life.I have to move on.Sometimes some other factors determine our decision-makings not ourselves who could decide.

Thanks for your company and your wishes.